Mixed emotions

So...I'm currently 28 weeks pregnant, and counting!

I have my days when I'm tired, day's when I'm nervous (about the impending arrival), and days when I am so excited I can't contain myself. Hormones...aaaah such a wonderful thing.

[Today, if you're wondering, is a 'tired' day.]

The realisation of becoming a mum to three children is quite a thought, one that hasn't quite sunk in yet. I sometimes wonder how mum's of three or more do it? Three different personalities to contend with must be mind numbing at times, but hopefully joyful!?

And a question that has been going around in my head lately, when do you feel like you're done? I mean really done? I do have days when I think, love, you're in way over you're head looking after just two, what possessed you to have another? And then thoughts of how lovely having a large family would be. The chaos, the different personalities running ragged around our bustling home, and even now, being pregnant, whenever there's a newborn baby I'm just reduced to putty, so god knows what I'll be like again in a couple of years time. I can say this now, I know, but my thoughts may soon change on that one once baby number 3 comes along.

What it boils down to is that going from 3 to 4 means a much bigger car, making more room in your home, etc, etc. then it's more or less the deciding factor in knowing when to stop. It's just that it sounds so very final. I am blessed to have another child, the understanding that other's aren't so lucky, I have had the experience of losing a much wanted baby during the first trimester of my second pregnancy, and it is devastating, so it's not always been a bed of roses.

Maybe the deciding factor is how it affects the rest of the family, us mother's can at times (very rarely) think selfishly, more often for the right reasons, but we take into consideration every other family members point of view (whether we like it or not!) or maybe like most of us it boils down to finances, but that's another story.

All this thinking is taxing on my brain!

Blame it on my age...or hormones!

A Beautiful Life

I have been creating, nurturing, growing a beautiful new life...due May xoxo

How beautifully everything is arranged by Nature;

as soon as a child enters the world,

it finds a mother ready to take care of it. 

~Jules Michelet

 

 

My love for photography

Photography has long been a love of mine, it stems from childhood. Peering through my grandmother's albums of generations past. I was always intrigued and fascinated who they were, what they were wearing, and when it was taken. The black and white portraits were captivating, and I would look at these photographs time and time again, always seeing something new within the composed photos.

I never once assumed what camera did they take them with, but I get quite a few comments on 'what kind of camera do you have' with the assumption that said person was given my camera their photographs would undoubtedly come out the exact same. (Yes, people do assume this, believe me).

I once read in a blog post:
Once upon a time a photographer was invited to have dinner at the home of a nice couple. During dinner the wife comments to the photographer “Your pictures are beautiful. You must have a great camera.” The photographer nods politely. After finishing dinner the photographer comments to the wife “That was a fine meal. You must have some great pots!

And that resonated with me. I don't mind anyone asking what equipment I have. Do I shoot in natural light/studio light etc. I love talking about photography. But I do worry that people are duped into buying very expensive pieces of equipment, without fully understanding the mechanics of what a camera can do.

I'm a Nikon girl, always have been. It just 'feels' right in my petite hands. I started off with a second-hand Nikon D50, and used that for approximately 3 or 4 years, and was still my back-up camera when I upgraded to a Nikon D80, which I have had for 7 years (and still use to this day). It took me a loooong time to fully appreciate what both camera's can do. I studied the manual (yes, really), researched online, and took every aspect of learning about photography by the scruff of the neck, and still feel I have a lot to learn.

Last year I purchased a medium format camera with 120 film. I love the novelty of what film does, waiting for the negatives to be processed. Unlike the have it now world of digital (one click and voila it's there, I wait patiently for the lab to finish processing my endless reels of film to be send back from the lab).

Photography is an expensive hobby, so invest wisely and learn the basics of the craft. There are so many teaching tools online, forums and other photographers who are willing to share what they do. It's a learning curve, but an enjoyable one. Regardless if you have a very basic camera, keep practicing, take your camera everywhere with you.

Above all enjoy it, I never tire of using my camera, creatively it what drives me to try different things, learn more and more importantly learn my tool to the best of its ability. Above all it will be you who will make that everlasting image. Moments can't be replicated, make sure you document or capture those times.

And besides, who wants to be the same as everyone else? Find your style, for me, it's taken me a very long time to find mine, but I'm getting there!

My eldest boy taking with 120 medium format film:

Soft, sweet moments

I cherish those moments, of quiet, stillness and calm. Those moments are very few and far between in my life, and because of that they are so much sweeter.

The noise that encompasses my daily life are filled with chatter, laughter, ideas, gossip, play, story-telling, and so much more, this is a reminder of memories to be shared, moments to be realised and more importantly that life is full.

My loves, my life. Fills my heart with joy.

One step at a time...

My baby is gaining his confidence each and every day with taking a few more small steps at a time.

I look at how he's working his way around, trying to balance, tentatively getting to his destination with a few wobbles inbetween, but proudly displaying that he can do it!

Suddenly my boy isn't a baby anymore, but a growing, inquisitive, loud human being, exploring his world, one step at a time...

On another note - his sleeping pattern feels like its going back to the baby stages, another long-winded night of him crying on and off. I am mindful at the growing changes within him, coupled with his molars coming through and maybe more of an awareness of his surroundings. Whichever it is, it's wearing us all down with lack of sleep - zzzz!

My Movie from Sheree on Vimeo.

It's a new dawn, it's a new day...

So far my week has passed by quite quickly, the fact that it's already mid-week and two more days until the weekend pleases me somewhat.

The last 48-72 hours, has been filled with sleepless nights due to the 15mo incessantly waking up at an un-godly hour, and when he does fall asleep, I've gone past the tired stage and struggle to get back to slumber....but when I do eventually fall back to sleep, the baby awakes again and, well, rinse and repeat.

Sleepless nights is like water torture. I love my sleep, and when a new day starts I'm so over-tired or I get second wind that I feel ok - but by the late afternoon, my brain starts to hurt and the tiredness hits, big time.

This isn't new to me. Those sleepless night has played a part pretty much on and off now for the past 8½ years, so in a way I'm used to it (or rather you just grin and bear it). It's almost like gold-dust to get that 7-8 hours sleep, aaah the thought of EIGHT HOURS KIP! I can only dream (that is if I ever get to sleep to dream) and well what's the saying? 'Sleep is for wimps' oh yes, oh no.

Tomorrow's another day...

On a lighter, more brighter note (!) I had a fab weekend with meeting some amazing families. First up the A Team as I'll call them, they were very sweet, and I personally love this image of them all. Love the fact that Master H is pointing out.

And then I had the pleasure of photographing another family, consisting of some very cool adults and their cool mother (photos to follow), but for now you may recognise this beautiful young lady. I photographed her 4 years ago, and yes, bark seems to be the theme.

This was a photo session we did a few years ago, and I still to this day LOVE the lighting in this image.

 

To today, where she is looking so grown up, and I love her hair colour. (Miranda Kerr anyone?!)

And just because the next image is just personally what I like best, a natural 'out' there outtake...yup, that hair colour is amaze-balls isn't it?

Right, I'm tired. Off to bed methinks...

Setting the Scene

I have a confession to make.

I'm not 'big' on props. There I said it.

I'm not averse to using them per se, but I don't like to feel that I've distracted the viewer from the main focus of the photo, when there are a hundred and one other obstacles also in the frame.

The attraction of the photo for me if a prop has to feature is all neutral, organic and mutual with the object of my focussed attention.

Props that have featured for newborns are a beautiful organic wood sculpture that the baby is wrapped so delicately and fits in so well into. Throws and blankets, all in natural colours and also hats and accessories - small but really make difference without overtaking the whole photograph. If I have to inject a colour they are included predominately as a background feature.

For older children, crates, boxes, tepees and throws. If I feel it fits the 'scene' to get that specific 'look' I'm after I will add it to the photosession.

To make my point I did a quick session with the kid today and we featured the organic tepee that I made, and added a vintage chest and throws, it all came out looking very organic and almost a shipwrecked feel to it.

So yes, when I start chucking in bits of furniture for you to sit on amongst other things, just have faith that I know what I'm doing, and that I know it will look good ;)